What is treason: a male and female look

Women's opinion: "Treason is not sex, but the penetration of thoughts about another woman in his head"

What is treason? And how many different concepts are there for a man and a woman? I, as a blogger, reason about this with the example of a real story:

My friend Elizabeth is on the verge of divorce. Her husband betrayed her. Changed. More precisely, I wanted to change, but did not have time.

She came in at a time when... hmm... When the train did not drive into the tunnel, though it rushed all the way.

She is worrying. She says that she loves her husband and does not want a divorce. Moreover, there is no reason. He did not change. I'm silent. Sometimes silent is more effective support than talking.

Treason is in the head. It is the penetration of thoughts about another woman into his head, and not the penetration of his genitals. If you look at the secretary's blouse, he thinks how to unbutton her and rally into tempting bulges, and not "my wife will also get this color", consider treason already taken place.

But Elizabeth does not want to hear this. She believes that it was not accidental that she managed to prevent everything at the last minute, because now the point of no return is not passed and you can forgive everything or even just pretend that nothing happened.

I'm silent.

"I hate it when you're silent, Carmen Monahan," Elizabeth says.

- I do not know what to say.

"I hate it when you lie." You always know what to say.

- Elizabeth, I have an opinion, of course, on this issue. But it's mine, it's very subjective.

"I know your opinion." Respect yourself, love yourself, that's all, right? You can not forgive treason, right? She asks in a guilty voice. It is obvious that she is ready to forgive.

- Who said you can not?

- You.

I was silent.

- That's it. You are very loudly silent about what everyone is talking about.

- All are very categorical. Nowhere is it written, it is possible or impossible. There is only want or not want.

- I want to forgive.

"Then, I'm sorry."

"Do you judge me?"

- I? You? God forbid.

"But you would not forgive me."

- Elizabeth, I have no idea if I'd forgive or not. It depends on a million circumstances. I just was not in this never and do not know how to feel when...

"When did they betray you?"

- When the one you love made a mistake and it hurts.

- Cool formulation. Delicate. So, when you were betrayed, Carmen, you feel like you're a balloon that you pierced. And air comes out of it. And he can only plug a hole.

- What an enchanting platitude.

Elizabeth laughs at a stranger with some kind of laughter, from which it becomes eerie.

- I've been living with my mother for three days now. And I remember only the best of it. I generally think that it is perfect. And I told him something did not finish.

"You're going to settle to the point of apologizing to him for his betrayal, Elizabeth."

"I think I'm a rag."

"You're not a rag." But in fact, this is really the most difficult thing in treason. Forgive something good, this time - and forgive, but do not lose yourself, resigned to the fact that you are not alone with him, and do not splash respect for yourself - that's difficult.

- Carmen, and suddenly he really was wrong. Well, it's just... She, too... Tempted. Stockings, heels. And he's a living, normal guy.

- Elizabeth, let's just excuse him we will not look. He really is alive, and he could make a mistake. But now he must correct it. Do not do it for him. There is such a word - responsibility.

"Do you know what I'm thinking about?"

- About what?

"About the fact that while I'm breaking here, he'll take it and call her." And it will not break.

- Well, why do you need it then? That he would go out for bread, and you stick to the window, how would he be there, in line, who did not pick? Elizabeth, in betrayal, the main loss is a loss of confidence. How can I trust him now? It's such an unconscious story, you can not order yourself: everyone forgot, passed. She, this woman, now in your head you will live. Collective such image of a woman.

"He's already living." I always imagine how they would have had everything, I did not enter...

- You need a specialist, Elizabeth. It hurts very much.

"I want him to cry and swear that never again..."

- And he?

"And he asks when I arrive." There will be reconciling sex. And tomorrow everything is as before. What should I do, Carmen?

- Elizabeth, honey, please look for answers inside. Not outside. Not with my mother, not with a friend, not with a psychologist. Only inside.

"You will not blame me, will you?" I think you will not respect me...

- What kind of bullshit. Why should I not respect you? Because you did not live up to my expectations? I've given you Leonardo DiCaprio, and you're forgiving the dogs? Elizabeth, take it easy. You do not owe anything to anyone except yourself. You owe yourself. Be happy. Here you go. Understand what will make you happy right now, and then do it. Goodbye. Or do not say good-bye. Who does any business.

- You know, when I was 16 years old and I had boys, then when they hurt me, I cried, and then I missed and decided to forgive. Well, I promised myself that I will forgive, I will return to him, everything will be fine with us, he will relax, and here I am! - and I'll leave him like he did me. I will avenge myself.

- Elizabeth, everyone did that. We're girls.

"But I never did it." I came back, and again everything is fine.

- And no one did. We're girls...

We are laughing.

Elizabeth is going to go to her husband.

- Write about this situation. I'm curious what the readers will say.

"Everyone will say different things." What do you want to hear? Blessing on the forgiveness of betrayals?

"There was no betrayal," Elizabeth says firmly.

Oh, yes. I'm silent. Silent means consent.

And what do you think: was treason?